Originally posted in WWN101 in 2012 this salacious tale seems worth repeating at this stage of our . . . . . our what? Confusion? Clarity? Travels? Decision to settle? Whatever.
After returning from the doctor’s office himself said to me, “The nurse told the doctor, ‘They’ve been right down to Key West and back. I wish I could do that,’ so I said to her you should change places with my wife.”
He sees this as proof enough that we should continue to travel, not settle down.
Of course she’d like to take a road trip to Key West. She’s working full time in wet Washington State.
I’ll bet he didn’t qualify the dream with the drawbacks. Would you give up your home, family and friends and emigrate to another country to satisfy your travel lust? Would you give up free health care? Could you survive in a tin box with your other half for years without coming to blows or calling a divorce lawyer? Would you mind looking like a ragamuffin because your best clothes (probably moldy now) are in storage?
I appreciate the fact that I’ve seen 47 of the 50 states, something most Americans will never do. Of course I feel privileged to have seen most of the top National Parks.
And I hope himself has read this far before he’s blown a gasket and called me an ungrateful cow.
Just to confirm how right he is and how wrong I am – always worth a victory lap in his book – we had a memorable moment with Courtney in the course of our travels. As we approached a gaily decked out espresso hut the NASCAR bunting made me smile at the thought of our day at the Daytona 500.
Better still, after hearing, “I’ll be with you guys in a second,” a dark-haired leggy lovely appeared, dressed – I use that term loosely – in skimpy – that’s being generous – stop-light-yellow shorts and a NASCAR-emblazoned yellow top that had more fabric in the sleeves than the whole of the rest of the outfit.
As my mouth dropped open, she smiled brightly. “What can I get you guys?” I dared not look at Jimmy’s expression. Rather than place our order, what came out of my mouth was, “I like your outfit.”
“Oh, thanks. We were losing business to the bikini baristas so we thought we needed to make a change, but to something tasteful.” I really daren’t look at Jimmy then. Her navel piercing and cleavage were particularly eye catching. I managed some sort of coffee order for myself, Jimmy stuttered out his tea order and whaddayaknow! the tea bags were on the bottom shelf. Did I mention that her shorts were very brief?
“I like you guys’ accents. Where are you from?” I gave the concise Baltimore/England answer. “Awesome! Are you guys traveling?” I explained we’d been all around the country. “Awesome! Do you have family here?” I informed her that my brother lived up the road. “Awesome!” And a brother in Tennessee. “Cool!” And children and grandchildren in England. And a brother-in-law in Wales. “That is so cool!” And a daughter in Sydney. “That is an awesome excuse to travel.”
Score several points to Jimmy. Although I have to tell you he wasn’t counting points right at that moment.
“What’s with the NASCAR theme?” I asked.
“There’s a racetrack down the road. We thought it would bring in some business.” Jimmy remained mute despite the motor racing reference, usually a favorite topic.
“Have you ever been to a NASCAR race?” I enquired, as the only one of her two customers capable of conversation.
“No. I’m from a little town called Elma. I’ve never traveled.”
“We went to the Daytona 500 in February.”
“AWESOME!” Well, I just had to agree with her. Had he been capable of the power of speech Jimmy would have agreed with anybody about anything right then.
You can stop looking for a picture of Courtney now. Sorry guys, there isn’t one.
More excitingly, Courtney had a cousin, equally skimpily dressed. We encountered her after our trailer wheel caught fire:
“Yer wus a fur!”
“What?” Jimmy bellowed.
“Yer wus a fur!”
“OUR WHEEL’S ON FIRE!!” I shrieked.
OMG! That is so funny. Well, part of it is. Not the part about the fire!!! Not really!
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Oh! So! Sorry! You shouldn’t have read that! It’s like seeing a plane crash on TV when you are about to fly. I’m sure your Airstream is in tip-top shape.
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Absolutely hilarious!! “I like your outfit.” I thought you had already moved back to England — I can’t wait to read about your adventures there.
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I did like her outfit! It looked nice on her! We move in 3 weeks. We’re only moving because I’m running out of stories!
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Not possible. You will NEVER run out of stories (lucky for us). 🙂
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I actually have notebooks full of stories – years old – from our European travels. I plan on writing some new ones but I hope their not all disaster stories! Thanks Laurel! 😉
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Honestly – you two are so funny! 😀
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Good times! Happy memories!
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Where are her pictures?
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Very remiss of me! I should go back with my camera.
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Soooo funny Carol! So descriptive too – I could see Courtney in her short shorts and Jimmy averting his eyes – NOT! At least your travels have given you something to blog about!
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That’s for sure! Wish I’d thought to take photo of her!
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It all makes me wonder if we will read the post where you are speechless??
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We’ve had a few adventures where I should have been speechless but I tend to babble a bit when anxious/scared/frightened silly.
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Some Adventure for sure – ha! – you guys must be a Hoot and a Riot all wrapped into one 🙂 A True Classic to Leave One Speechless – Happy Thursday!
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One of many adventures – some good, some not so good!
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“I like your outfit.” Classic.
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Well I did! It looked fantastic on her! You’d run screaming if you saw it on me but that’s not the point.
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Snort!
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Not the reply I wanted. You’re supposed to say, “Oh no dawling. You’d look fantastic!”
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It was an, “I can totally relate” snort. But in the spirit of embracing our bodies, I’ll rephrase as:
Darling, forget her outfit, you should do the Bikini Batista thing. 😉
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Oh yes, toadally me, THE bikini body. That is a snort.
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Where we live in Northern Cal there is one coffee drive thru that has reasonably attractive women working there – albeit fully clothed – and you should see the line of trucks every morning. If we had a coffee spot like the one you mention all work would grind to a halt in my town and the coffee cart would probably be worshipped as a shrine. Funny story – your husband wisely showed restraint and said Nothing – smart man.
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They were very sweet girls. I hope they got good tips. I’m not sure any man would get as far as assessing their personalities!
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I will have to go over and see if there is a photo of the short shorts and longer sleeved top than the rest …
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Rochester, Washington State – just off Interstate 5. Give Courtney and Chrystal my regards.
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You guys certainly haven’t had some adventures!
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Just a few – cowering through a micro-burst (mini straight down hurricane) – https://whichwaynow101.wordpress.com/2013/07/29/we-should-have-stayed-at-home/, watching the horizon for tornadoes – https://whichwaynow101.wordpress.com/2013/12/06/a-tornado-here/ being cased by gypsies, having our awning torn off while driving on the interstate, etc.
All good fun – not always!
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