Ten hours after escaping the claws of the airport security reich and having been awake for 20 hours we were welcomed to Calgary – the home of the Calgary Stampede – by Cowboy Bob standing at the top of an escalator in his ten gallon hat, a pleasing change from Stalag Heathrow.
The immigration officer, rather worryingly dressed in a bullet proof vest, was abrupt but business-like wording his short questions for the sleep-deprived and only detaining us for a few seconds.
The Canadian customs officer actually had a sense of humor and commiserated with us for being tired and many time zones from our departure point at Heathrow. It was all going smoothly for two weary travelers and we were still in good spirits at that stage.
Walking tentatively, gazing around and pushing a wayward cart loaded with two weight limit suitcases and two well overweight carry-ons, we must have looked suitably befuddled for an obliging uniformed aide to come to our rescue. “What is your destination?”
Helpfully, it was the only question our addled brains could answer, “Seattle.”
“You need U.S. Customs. It’s upstairs,” and she gave a stewardess-type sweep of the hand to direct us. With new found determination, we strode through the indicated automatic doors, through a lobby, past some shops and found ourselves out on the street at the taxi rank.
“This isn’t right.”
“No, it isn’t.” Stating the obvious is often a delaying tactic while we pull ourselves together. We headed back for the automatic doors and stopped short as they closed in our face, with a big red NO ENTRY symbol staring back at us. With little mental stamina left to guide us, we doggedly retraced our steps out onto the street again.
“This isn’t right.” Tiredness was limiting our vocabulary.
So there we stood, two dunderheads, two experienced trans-Atlantic travelers, who have hopped from London to Baltimore, Seattle and Phoenix, changing planes in New York, Reykjavik, Denver, Paris, Detroit, Toronto, Washington D.C., Montreal, Chicago, Copenhagen, Boston and Vancouver – some of the busiest airports in the world – and yet we stood outside at the curb at Calgary Airport at a complete loss at how to proceed.
“Let’s go back to the doors. We’ll wait for someone to come out,then shoot back in before they close.”
“But they’re no entry.”
“What do you suggest? Take a taxi to Seattle from here?”
Like a couple of illegal immigrants (technically we were as we stood on the street not having cleared immigration in Canada) we waited for someone on the right side of the doors to come out so we could bound through them. That someone was a flight attendant we recognized from our flight. “Can I help you?” he asked in a blessedly non-menacing way as we trespassed.
He took us through some unmarked doors, along a secret passage, pointed out an elevator, indicated a point on the ceiling where U.S. Customs should be “I think,” and disappeared into his phalanx of fellow Canadians.
With U.S. Customs within range, you’d think we’d be home and dry. I hope you’d be wishing us well at this point, or at least for an end to a seemingly endless tale, but there were more calamites to come.
. . . . to be continued.
What a trip – like a chain reaction, can’t wait to read about the next craziness!
Brenda
LikeLike
We kept thinking each trauma was the last!
LikeLike
What I found amusing is that you escaped the terminal before reaching customs. Sounds like a loophole in the system. The question is if you were able to do it, others could do it too. What’s to stop someone who doesn’t want to go through the security gestapo?
LikeLike
Yes we could have escaped without clearing customs but it would have been a long walk with ours cases to Seattle! But I take your point. Do you think next time we should try to sneak onto the tarmac and try to hide in a wheel well?
LikeLike
Noooo, but if it was that easy………….things could happen. I’ve been in airports were it’s a one way trip to customs with no options. In Russia it’s almost right after you get off the plane, they don’t play around. I’ve traveled to Israel, Turkey, and Cyprus and found it to be the same way. But I very much liked the story. I’ve traveled to Russia three times and know how long the ordeal was, so I understood your frustrations.
LikeLike
It’s interesting how tough, lax or otherwise customs and immigration are in different countries. I should stay in the European Union and keep my Yankee mouth shut.
LikeLike
Exactly my feelings too. EU and Eurasia means your on the right continent. Anyway, it’s been great, will be visiting your blog more often. Until then…………Good luck and Godspeed.
LikeLike
Thanks so much and the same to you!
LikeLike
Carol, what a great story! We had a similar experience recently and just stood there saying to each other, “Well, I didn’t see that going that way!” 🙂 Looking forward to the rest of the tale. ~Terri
LikeLike
I’m sure you have your share of airport tales to tell. I thought that if everyone could suffer vicariously through me they wouldn’t have to have the same experience. It didn’t work according to the comments I’ve had in Airport Gestapo #’s 1 to 5!
LikeLike
Oh no – nothing in the world scares me more than U.S. Customs!! I may be too afraid to read read the next bit…
LikeLike
I hope this isn’t a spoiler alert but it wasn’t Customs that was the problem.
LikeLike
This should be a book!! 🙂
LikeLike
Hahaha! Thanks! There is another chapter!
LikeLike
😀
LikeLike
Half the time I’m enjoying the humour but really I’m just cringing at what’s coming next. I see my future …
LikeLike
There is more to come but no cruel and unusual punsishment! Please have a laugh at my expense.
LikeLike
I cannot even begin to guess what is still in store for you! 🙂
LikeLike
Nor could I. Why couldn’t they just leave us alone?
LikeLike
Some how I just know something bad is about to happen… keep it coming…
LikeLike
I wasn’t arrested or beaten or anything like that but . . .
LikeLike
Why spoil the story by telling me that??? lol
LikeLike
You have a cruel streak BD.
LikeLike
What you didn’t hit one of them and get into a good brawl????
LikeLike
Moi? Little ole me? Certainly not! There is a twist in the tale though!
LikeLike
Gosh, I think after all this and more troubles to come, when I finally got to my destination I would never want to travel abroad again!!
LikeLike
I’m getting that way, Ann, but as long as we live in the U.S. and our family is in the UK we have to fly, sail or swim!
LikeLike
Oh no! How long until the next enthralling episode? 😕
LikeLike
I was thinking Thursday unless I am coerced. Actually having some probs with Derek the laptop at the moment. I did a stupid thing on Internet Explorer before they put out their “fix.” Now on Chrome but the damage is done. I’m going to operate on him tomorrow but if I’m not successful he’ll have to go to the hospital.
LikeLike
Hey, I have now been on Chrome since the news about IE needing a fix. But tonight at one point I got a notice that Chrome had crashed!!!. I turned off my computer and luckily when i got back on it came back up ok!!!
LikeLike
Phew! Glad I missed that one. Unfortunately I stayed on IE a day too long and now have lots of annoying pop-ups. I’m going to try a fix tomorrow but I’m a but of an IT dummy so we’ll see . . . .
LikeLike
Oh no! good thinking though… I’m glad you got back in okay… more?!
LikeLike
Just a little more. I think I’ve put everyone on WP off flying for good! 😕
LikeLike
Yup!
I found that being a flustered single mum helped the process! The day after Lyra’s first birthday, she and I flew alone to San Fran and I had all sorts of things I shouldn’t in my bag (requested by my sister – custard, mustard, marmite etc) and no one batted an eyelid and could not be more helpful!
LikeLike
That’s disturbing, but lucky for your sister.
LikeLike
I am going to put you next to Harlan Coben for suspense writing with wise cracks and adding humor to a tight situation.
LikeLike
Oh wow! What an honor! I love Harlan Coben!
LikeLike
… and the never-ending nightmare called What Not To Do will continue after this brief message ….
…. do you suffer from embarrassing brain farts? … do they prevent you from making sound decisions? are you afraid to travel because of it? ….
… stay tuned, because our intrepid travellers will be heading back to Europe later this year. Will we find out if they are now flagged on a security database? … 🙂 🙂 🙂
LikeLike
What!!?? Flagged on a security database!!?? Oh please noooooo!
LikeLike
HAHAHAHAHAHA!! ok – that was really evil of me 😀
LikeLike
Taken in the spirit it was intended – fun comment! 🙂
LikeLike
Holy cow! You can’t catch a break. On the edge of my seat here.
LikeLike
It was an extraordinary trip!
LikeLike
Oh dear…
LikeLike
Not much more. Promise.
LikeLike
The US immigration guys aren’t known for their kind and gentle nature… I’m cringing already.
LikeLike
Immigration was fine but security . . . . again . . . . . !
LikeLike
This experience might keep one from ever flying again!
LikeLike
You would think so wouldn’t you? Sadly I don’t have a Dr. Who tardis or a Scotty to “beam me up!”
LikeLike
How are your grey hairs????
LikeLike
Hidden amongst the blond highlights. Don’t look too closely.
LikeLike
Oh my heavens I am exhausted on this trip! Glad to hear we were at least helpful in Calgary….well other than sending you out on the street. 🙂
LikeLike
You gave us a bit of bother later on but it wasn’t your fault. Oh how cryptic! One more chapter to go!
LikeLike
You are definitely good on the suspense writing!
LikeLike
Weeell . . . . I just had 3000+ words to break up. Thanks for hanging in there!
LikeLike
Haha happy to follow the Gestapo saga!
LikeLike
I had to carry the Gestapo theme through but it is not a label for the Calgary crew! Well not the ones we met anyway.
LikeLike
Good to hear 🙂
LikeLike
They were kind and helpful. We were dumb and tired.
LikeLike
How much further can you descend into airport hell?
LikeLike
Just a little bit. Well a lot actually, but we were too tired to notice.
LikeLike