Derek the Laptop is Home from Rehab

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The diagnostic testing was inconclusive so there is no treatment plan. Derek is slower than ever and I can only conclude that he’s sulking. The tech was too kind to say but my diagnosis is senescence as many of you have suggested although there was a degree of prejudice against his kind where a preference for an Apple exists.

Derek will be destined for an old people’s home while I find a toy boy, technologically speaking that is, but until we decide Which Way Now – USA or Europe – we will hang on to Derek as well as Bill and Bob the naughty 2G phones that refuse to play with the new cell phone tower next door.

Derek thanks everyone who has shown concern for his welfare but has been quite distressed at the number of people who feel I should trade him in for a piece of fruit.

Now he’s been mesmerized by this slide show of white-tailed deer at Ochlockonee River State Park in Florida:

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46 thoughts on “Derek the Laptop is Home from Rehab”

  1. Oh dear, maybe Derek needs some physical therapy to completely recover. I have an old Dell laptop that I had cleaned up before I left Denver when it had been acting up and it works great now. We also have an Apple laptop and computer (for the photographer) and learning to work on them was not difficult at all. But don’t give up on Derek, he might surprise you!
    Brenda

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  2. It’s quite funny how the Apple fans keep up with the “ONE OF US” stuff. I have worked in IT, and actually support offices where there is a mix of Windows and Apple laptops. I’ve noticed that the Windows users blame the computer, and the Apple users make excuses for the same things. Anyone who claims Apples are more stable haven’t been in IT long enough to know the difference. Usually people compare a $400 Windows laptop to a $3000 Mac.

    You could get your old laptop working pretty well if it can take Windows 7. Save any files you want onto an external hard drive, and reinstall the OS. You could probably get the same results by going through and uninstalling every program you don’t actually use or need. Cleaning out all that stuff you never use. And doing all the disk maintenance that’s probably been neglected for ages. You’d be surprised how people’s laptops can get full of junk over time. And also get rid of nearly everything that starts up when the system boots up.

    I have 7 year old laptop that works okay for writing and adding pictures.

    IF you decide on replacing your laptop, go with a business class laptop. I say this because they are generally built more robust. Your IT guy would probably be happier with you as well, because they are made to be worked on. The home laptops are usually pretty flimsy. My work laptop is a Dell Latitude e6430. I could drop it off a table in the middle of writing and it will still run. Though I might have to replace the screen. Good luck with those Macs.

    They also happen to have the same hardware now as opposed to the older Motorola based chipsets. Now they are the SAME EXACT HARDWARE as the Windows machines. Just twice the price.

    And wall of text….

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    1. If I had any thoughts of going over to Apple, I don’t now! I have to say Derek is pretty well behaved after a couple of little tweaks by the geek. I’m running Windows 7 and I had some of the start up rubbish removed before. I’m an IT illiterate so am iffy about messing about with anything myself but will look at the programs again. I’m sure there are some that can be uninstalled. Many thanks for all your advice. I have copy and pasted it into a word file so I’ve got 2! chances of finding it again when I need it! 🙂

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      1. I name all of my computers B0B. It stems from the old 10 meg hard drives that you had to pull the drawer out to remove the disk(big honkin disks too). If you had the strap come undone, it would write B0B in hex all over the drive. That would usually mean the HDD was fried.

        I’ve been in IT too long… I’ve had 20+years IT experience. And if there’s one thing I can guarantee, It’s better to go with what the businesses are using.

        If you don’t want to do a lot of stuff on the command line(terminal) stick with Windows. If your laptop is currently running Windows 7, you might have your tech save all of your profile stuff off to a separate drive using “Windows Easy Transfer” then restore your computer to factory settings, and bring all of that back with the Easy Transfer tool. It is amazing how much faster those old machines run without all of the random programs running on them that we forgot we installed.

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          1. Hit the windows button, and type “Easy Transfer”
            With that you can save all of your profile data and files off to an external drive.
            THEN you can bring up the computer function to restore to factory settings(this depends entirely on the brand of laptop, but most times F11 or F8 will bring up the menu. Your computer tech should know how to do this. If not, find a new tech lol.

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            1. More cut and paste! Thanks for that. I might give it a try if I’m feeling brave. If not, I’ll reread your advice before I take the “puter into the shop so that I’ll sound like I know what I’m talking about! 😀

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  3. Hit up the local Costco, Carol. They often have fantastic prices on laptops. I think any of the big brands would be a safe bet. That said, it’s lot like you’d be running a million programs; probably just reading email, surfing he web and maybe creating some content in MS Word or similar. Just about any box will give you that (for a cheap price). Don’t spend more than a few hundred. That way if Derek v2.0 craps out in a couple of years, it won’t be that heartbreaking a loss. 🙂

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    1. Thanks Nancy. I’ll have a look. Derek is feeling quite depressed with everyone trying to retire him and he’s dragging his heels this morning. Or is it WP? Or is it the wifi signal? Or is it the operator being impatient and click, click, clicking to make all the little circles go round and round at once?

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  4. I love your description of Derek and the cell phones as living being with personalities. something i do a lot of which gets my family rolling their eyes. 🙂

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      1. Yes mine as well. Coming home from our family vacation in Jamaica there was one suitcase that took longer to arrive than the others. I suggested the luggage piece was likely scared an lonely without its friends. Yes we are definitely on the same page. 🙂

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    1. We still have an ancient laptop and a hopeless netbook to get rid of! I think a hammer is called for. As for the desktop we put into store in England 8 years ago, I don’t quite remember but I think it is steam driven.

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  9. I feel badly for poor Derek. We all eventually know the feeling of being ‘too old’ 🙂
    Remember what happened to Eve when she was tempted to take The Apple? Just sayin’.

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    1. Hahaha! Derek isn’t really that old. Maybe I’m just an impatient person. I could pension off Derek with “himself,” go technology shopping and leave the fruit in the fruit bowl.

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  10. I’ve had a Toshiba laptop which, cross fingers, has now lasted five years and is doing well. I bought top of the range and I think forking out a bit more is a good investment. As for Apple – I really object to the market monopolisation they try to exert and their cynical manipulation of Apple enthusiasts, so I have no Apple computer, no iPhone and no iPad.

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    1. I always thought that Toshiba were a good make so thanks for your comment. That’s encouraging. We’ll need to follow up with a tablet and two smart phones so we have to go one way or the other!

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        1. I’m actually feeling pulled towards a Microsoft compatible computer. We are facing some huge challenges at the moment. I don’t want learing a new OS to be one of them. By challenges, I mean decisions – nothing life threatening. If himself and I were going to kill each other we’d have done it by now!!

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          1. I do know what you mean about learning a new OS. It was a challenge for me when we first got the Apple, and the Apple computers are still rather pricey.

            There is nothing like living in an RV to test the strength of a relationship! 🙂

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  12. Don’t be pushed into a fruit purchase. I bought an Apple a few years ago — quite a high-end, expensive, big-memory laptop — and simply could never get used to it. So I sold it, bought my Dell laptop, and have been happy ever since.

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