Travel Angst

Wow! This had to be a terrible flight. I wonder which airline it was. I’ll look back through my 2008 diary pages. Found this letter in an old notebook. I must have been purging myself of some travel angst. You won’t be surprised to know I didn’t mail it or anything similar to it, but wouldn’t a positive response have been an excellent result? I’ve taken my (or somebody’s) husband’s voice to sound more authoritative. The vocabulary, tone and phrasing is on the silly side but it probably felt good at the time:

My House

My Street

My Village

My County

My Country

1 June ‘08

Dear Sirs

I write regarding my recent flight with your airline. I found your cabin crew to be most disagreeable, particularly a Miss Julia Wicket, who was impertinent towards my wife. Her abrupt and callous manner was most offensive and was upsetting to us both. I wish you to require Miss Wicket to write a letter of apology immediately addressed to Mrs. Amelie Affronted at the above address prostrating herself and begging forgiveness for her behavior.

I cannot begin to describe the detrimental effect this disastrous flight has had upon our holiday and so require you to credit us with 24,000 air miles in Club Class with your assurances that all staff have been selected for their deferential demeanor and have been properly trained in customer services.

Furthermore, I demand a limousine service to and from the airports at either end of our trips, destinations to be decided.

I expect a prompt reply to this letter otherwise I shall be contacting my solicitors to bring a lawsuit against your airline, and shall also involve the media bringing unwanted publicity at this economically difficult time.

Yours faithfully,

Arthur Affronted

(P.S. I now know which airline it was but I’m not telling you.)

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